Sunday, February 20, 2011

Am I an Over Protective Mother?

My latest blog post over at The WM Parenting Connection!  Am I am over protective mother or is it just normal behaviour?  I would love to know what you think!  You can post in the comment section here or over there or indeed in both places!!




  1. These are the comments Amanda, one of my readers left on The WM Parenting connection site re the above post and my reply.

    amanda said...
    Hi Claire,in my humble opinion I do not think you are an over-protective mother,you are simply anxious,you are very much aware that your behaviour could be interpreted by others as "over-protectiveness",but I say to hell with what everybody else thinks,you are Ciaran's mother and it is nobody else's business,however,the only thing that would concern me is the transference of fear onto Ciaran,he naturally senses your fear and as a result thinks "Oh oh if mom is nervous,this mustn't be a good thing for me to do"
    If I were you,and believe me I have been accusedd many times of being over-protective,I would give myself little pep talks before you go to a playground or somewhere you are nervous about with Ciaran,tell yourself that he is perfectly safe and is much more capable than you think..maybe bring a friend along to chat with while he is playing,you wouldn't be quite so focused on him,failing that bring a book,anything to help take you mind off possible is extremely hard letting go and handing over the care and safety of our precious children to others,because it is true..NOBODY can mind your child like you do,but we have to trust. My 13 yr old daughter Gillian flies to Paris on Thursday morning and I won't rest until I see her back in her bed Sunday night,but I can't let her see how worried I am,I can't put that burden on her..
    In saying all that,I think you are to be admired to be such a caring,protective mom,I have seen mother's barely look up when their child comes running to them after a fall in the playground..I recall being told I had to toughen up my children when they were Ciaran's age,but I was always on like you,I just learnt to hide it from them..and so far they are turning out to be very intelligent,capable,confident children...stop being so hard on yourself Claire,forget what other people think,just don't let Ciaran know you are so will be fine.

    February 20, 2011 6:08 AM
    fortysomethingfirsttimemum said...
    Words of wisdom Amanda! Thank you. I do go to the playground with a friend and her son of the same age and I chat away to her and let them play. However,out of the corner of my eye, I see he is much more cautious than his pal and won't go on some things. Sometimes he tries but stops half way and cries out that he is scared and I have to help him down. I think that IS because when we are on our own together, I do the nervous nellie thing. I AM worried about the transference of fear because I got this from my own Mum, with the result I didn't have kids, learn to swim or drive amongst many other things, until nearly forty and over! Gulp!

  2. Hey - first of all, thanks for finding me on Bloggymoms. I'd love for you to check out my blog and let me know what you think!

    I read your piece on being "over-protective". I think what you are thinking and feeling is completely normal for a mom. But, there's being overprotective and there's being 'crazy' about it (I've been both) to the point where you are hindering your child's experiences. You have to weigh out what you are worried about. For example, falling into the pool. Yes, it might scare him (or, who knows, he might like it), but it wouldn't kill him. Someone would be there to pull him out of the water way before that happened. So, there's no sense in being panicky about it. You brought him to swim lessons to learn how to manage and respond around water, right? So, let him do that.

    Just my thoughts. (My kids are in their 30's, by the way. I have grandkids from 2 years to 6 years old).


  3. What a great blog! Love ya and am so inspired by you!

  4. Allie, you made me laugh, because I DID bring him to swim lessons to learn after all! I certainly don't want to hinder him in any way.
    Thanks Meredith. Glad you like my blog. I am always trying to improve it and need to explore the design a bit more!

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