Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Enough Trust

Enough Trust
My latest post over at the WM Parenting Connection in which I talk about how I hope my son will see me as older and wiser rather than an old fogey! I hope he will be able to trust me enough to confide in me about whatever he is going through in life. All comments welcome.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Monday, September 26, 2011

Use the Credit Card.... From the Mouths of Babes!

A recent experience in a toy shop led me to write the following post:

I am very interested to hear what others think.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Children at Weddings?

Having attended two weddings recently to which my litte boy was also invited, I wrote the following post

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Great Day In This World...

My blog post on tenth anniversary of 9/11 over at The WM Parenting Connection.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


I decided to post this on my own blog today after reading it over at

I certainly can identify with some of these ten ways, though not every older mother will.  I do think the ten points are meant to be funny and tongue in cheek.  At least that is the way I take them....

Over at my Facebook Page some people totally disagree with them.  I have posted some of the comments at the end of the post.

1. They get tired. We get exhausted. And we do it before ten a.m.
  • 2. They wash or discard any piece of their kid's food that hits the ground. We practice the ten-second rule: if it wasn't on the ground ten seconds, it's good eatin'.
  • 3.Sometimes we practice the 20-second rule.
  • 4.They still call it a "vacation" when the kids come.
  • 5.Their kids wear pjs. Our kids sleep in their school clothes. It's a helluva time saver in the morning. (tee hee - love this!  Tongue in cheek!  JOKE!)
  • 6. They make nutritious, home-cooked dinners. We maintain an extensive file of take-out menus.
  • 7. They write holiday letters documenting the family's doings, with hand-written notes to their friends and relatives. We're lucky to get an unsigned photo card in the mail by New Year's.
  • 8. They are perky. We're not. Not even on caffeine. You don't want to know us on caffeine. (Tee Hee!)
  • 9. Their kids wear brand-new, matching outfits. Our kids wear hand-me-downs that saved us a trip to the mall and being the pitied mom whose kid won't leave without throwing a fit because we didn't buy them FILL IN THE BLANK HERE.
  • 10. When given the choice of sex with their partner or sleep, younger moms still choose sex. What's that like? (love it!  :))

    • I couldn't post a comment on your blog? I totally disagree!!!!its not about being an older or younger mum. These 10 points spell LAZY!
      18 hours ago · 

    • Claire Hegarty B Then I am lazy!
      18 hours ago · 

    • Claire Hegarty B I will post what you said over there and see who agrees! :)
      18 hours ago · 

    • Vincent Houlihan As long as Mam and Baby are healthy and happy. age is only a number. Nature decides..not stupid people with age calculators. MY Mam had her first at 22 and the last at 42..she is now 82 and I could not get her to come off the dance floor in graingers last weekend. THE BABY AT 42 BECAME A DADDY THE SAME YEAR AS THE BABY AT 22 BECAME A GRANDAD LOL
      10 hours ago ·  ·  1 person

    • Helen Tyrrell I found the the whole 10 points very american,no mother young or old would have their children sleeping in school clothes .
      2 hours ago · 

    • Helen Tyrrell the 10 points is all about having no time,not younger mother v older mother.
      2 hours ago · 

    • Claire Hegarty B Nobody I know would do that Helen but the ten points are meant to be tongue in cheek, I would say! I do have contact with a lot of older mothers, especially FIRST TIME older mothers who may not be as used to getting things organised etc as older mums who already have kids and most of them do have a little bit more chaos around it.
      7 minutes ago · 

    • Claire Hegarty B Also, both myself and my friend who had babies at almost 42 do feel a lot more tired than our younger counterparts. I have talked to both types of mums at length about this. I fear that if I didn't go walking, have early nights, watch my diet and do yoga, my energy levels would really plummet.
      4 minutes ago · 

    • Claire Hegarty B I do think the tiredness makes me a bit lazy at times, and because I lead a busy life, time can be an issue. If I was more organised I could probably resolve all this.
      3 minutes ago · 

Thursday, August 25, 2011

How A Child Learns: .........

I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish. — Anne Lamott

This quote came up on my Facebook page from one of my many inspirational Facebook friends. A bolt of recognition shot through me when I read it.  It reminded me of those awful self hating thoughts that plagued me during my teens, twenties and part of my thirties. 

Back then, before I changed my way of thinking, I despised everything about myself.  I was consumed with criticism and hostility towards myself.  I was insecure, had no confidence and ridiculed myself on a daily basis.  If anyone criticised me negatively, I agreed with them! When people were nice to me, wanted to be my friend or more, I didn't believe them.  I assumed there was an ulterior motive, I was standoffish on occasions. I drank too much, to block out the pain and I even thought of ending it all at times. I spent a large part of my life in tears. Looking back, I wasted so much precious life being this way. 

Little Girl Crying on Her Bed - Royalty Free Clipart Picture 

I believe that this lack of self esteem, self worth and self love led me to believe that I would be the worst mother in the world.  I also didn't want to bring a child into the world who would ever have those same kind of feelings about themselves.  I wasn't sure I would be able to prevent this as my own parents didn't with me.  I know that they did the best they could do but, in those days, many children were treated in a very different way than they are now. My mother is kind but quite a critical person and my father was genuine, but oversensitive, depressive and an alcoholic. They were good people and parented as best they knew how.  They weren't really aware of any damage that was done to their children and I hasten to stress that fact.

Thankfully, I was able to overcome my problems with time, self help and a lot of self love. Something happened to me that jolted me right into the reality that if I continued on the self destructive path, there would be worse to come. 

I started to consume self help books, had counselling and read about inspirational people who overcame much adversity in their lives.  I realised that it is true that everything begins with the thoughts in your mind, every action, every decision you make. I realised that I had to take the responsibility of altering my mindset upon myself. I realised that I couldn't blame anyone else if I couldn't turn things around.  I had a mind of my own and it was up to me to use it properly. All my negative thinking had led me to hating myself, to being overweight, to drinking too much, to being in jobs or relationships that were not good for me. It was lovely to find that by changing the thinking, I began to love myself, lose weight, drink much less, find a job and a man I love.  And Yes!  Have that baby!  I was in my forties when I eventually had him but better late than never I say!

Of course, there are still challenges in all areas of my life. I am still a work in progress but I am loving learning more about myself and life every day.  And the best thing is that I DON'T feel selfish doing it because I know, by being a happier person, it will impact on those around me.

I hope that I can help my child to avoid all the mental suffering that I and many friends of my generation went through.  I have a lovely friend Liz Mitchell, who will understand exactly what I mean when I talk about how children of our generation were brought up.  As a sensitive child, she went through much the same stuff and as a sensitive and damaged adult went on to suffer at the hands of others.

One day, she woke up and realised that she didn't have to do that and that she could change her world.  She is now the wonderful forty something mother of two beautiful daughters.  She is a shining example to them of how you can change your way of thinking and you can follow your dreams no matter what your age.  Hopefully we are more aware these days of how a child learns and how and what they will learn from us.

See this link  about my friend and you will see what I mean!

Liz Mitchell
Liz Mitchell - Fortysomething Mum and  DreamCatcher

I'll leave you with the food for thought below....

How A Child Learns 
If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility, she learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame, she learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement, she learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness, she learns justice.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval, she learns to like herself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.
(Dorothy Law Nolte)


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Is It Bribery or Compromise? And Is it Right Or Wrong?

My latest post over at the The WM Parenting Connection can be found at the above link.

In theory, you shouldn't bribe your children when you want them to do something.  Before I actually had my child, I would have been the first to agree.  Funny how things change.

I would be interested to hear how others feel on the subject.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Untidy House, Untidy life?

Someone once said to me that an untidy house equals an untidy life.

I beg to differ on this one!  My house is untidy a lot of the time. However, as the author mentioned in my post says, 'it's a sign I have a life and not that I need to get one! Check out what I have written on the subject over at

As Erma Bombeck once quipped ' My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be.'

and I also agree that:

'cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow, but children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs! Dust go to Sleep!  I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep!' Ruth Hamilton

Remember! The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work. --Author Unknown

Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.  

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

I was featured in The Irish Examiner FeelGood Supplement last Friday!

I was delighted last week to be contacted by a journalist from The Irish Examiner newspaper .  She was doing an article on over forty mothers and wanted to ask about my experience of being a forty something first time mum.

As I was  being interviewed last Tuesday, I took my eyes off my toddler and his friends. Next thing I knew I could smell burning and here giggling from the kitchen. Abandoning my interviewer and dashing into the kitchen I discovered that he had put a dry bowl of porridge into the microwave. Of course, the plate was not suitable, and, on a high setting, the microwave went up in smoke!  This is the third microwave he has broken but I just couldn't be cross.  After all, it was me who forgot to unplug the dratted thing!  I fully expected to see something about this in the interview!

The following day, The Examiner wanted to send their photographer at short notice.  I was minding my two and a half year old niece that day, as her creche had been closed.  I arrived home from collecting my little boy from playschool at 12.45 and the photographer arrived shortly after.  It was chaotic to say the least.  When she arrived, there were two mad toddlers racing around the house.  I had a half face of make up on as I was hoping look half decent in the pictures.

The article came out in the print version of The Irish Examiner last Friday on page 6 of the Feel Good Mag supplement.  I was delighted with it, especially as my blog was mentioned.  The photograph was also pretty good.  I knew my son would look great but I wasn't too sure about myself!  Thankfully, it was a pleasant surprise!

I notice that the article isn't online at the Irish Examiner website so I might contact them about that.  I would love to put the link up and archive it here on my blog.  What do you think?

My last weeks blog post for the WM Parenting connection can be found at the link below.  I would really welcome any comments.

PS -5th June 2011 - The PDF link for the article by Sue Leonard and featuring me is at  Scroll down to page 6 and there we are!

I note that Cari Rosen Author of 'The Secret Diary of a New Mum, aged 43 1/4' was mentioned alongside Carla Bruni in a similar article.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Enough Trust
My latest post over at the WM Parenting Connection in which I talk about how I hope my son will see me as older and wiser rather than an old fogey! I hope he will be able to trust me enough to confide in me about whatever he is going through in life. All comments welcome.

I also have an interesting article by Marina Calado up over at my other blog.  Go to to check it out.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


by Claire Hegarty

In the playground the other day I eavesdropped on two mothers . To read more hop over to my post at

Monday, April 4, 2011

'Saint' Mothers Day

It was Mothers Day yesterday in my part of the world.  My son made me laugh so much when he referred to it as 'Saint' Mothers day!  Read more over at

Sunday, March 27, 2011

The First Time

Hop on over to to see my latest  post!  Feel free to comment here or there or indeed in both places!!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Express Your Love

If you'd like to read my latest post go on over to The WM Parenting Connection at

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Am I an Over Protective Mother?

My latest blog post over at The WM Parenting Connection!  Am I am over protective mother or is it just normal behaviour?  I would love to know what you think!  You can post in the comment section here or over there or indeed in both places!!



Saturday, February 5, 2011

Parenthood isn't for everyone?

Hi there

Check out my latest post over at

What do you think? Feel free to comment here or over on the WMParenting site.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Hi there

Scoot on over to where you will not only see my article but a wealth of parenting topics!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

I had hoped to start posting again on January 1st and was full of the best intentions. One of my resolutions is to blog in a timely fashion.  Not a good start!

My other resolutions are to be more positive, more focused and above all calm. I would like to be the best parent I can be.  I also want to get fitter and lose some weight.  I feel they are realistic, achievable goals so hope I can persuade the negative, lazy part of myself to agree and comply!

I'd like to wish you all a very healthy, happy and positive 2011 full of blessings and love.  If you like, you can pop on over to for my latest post.